Tuesday, September 20, 2005

just not that into me

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I met with a potential doula recommended to us by the woman whose apartment we are subletting. We liked the doula a lot, but weren't 100% sure that we wanted to use a doula at all since with twins, there is a 50% chance that I will have to have a c-section and an almost 100% chance that I will have to have an epidural.

Anyway, when we said goodbye to the doula, she let us know that her schedule was filling up and that we should let her know in a week or so whether or not we wanted to work with her. I definitely did. My husband wasn't so certain (for the reasons mentioned above). So he and I talked about it for a few days, went to our first childbirth class, and ultimately decided that yes- we wanted to use her.

I called her last Monday (a day before the week deadline she gave us) and then tried to wait patiently for a return call. When I didn't hear back from her in a couple of days, I sent her an e-mail. Still nothing. She called last night to tell us that she's booked. She can't work with us. That after our meeting a couple of weeks ago, she had the impression that we weren't going to go with a doula after all.

I'm so disappointed. Probably more than I should be. She did give us the contact info of the two women she works with. And I do still have about 10 weeks until the twins' ETA. So there's still time to find a replacement. But I can't help but feel rejected. I've been pursuing this woman since late June and (perhaps I should have taken this as a sign) since late June, she has been slow to return my calls and e-mails, but when she finally does get around to calling me back, she's been so apologetic and nice.

And I fell for her. I really did. Though now I am second guessing myself thinking that it's not that her schedule is full, it's that she didn't love my husband and I. Doesn't care whether or not we have labor support at our birth. She'd rather have an uninterrupted Thanksgiving holiday than spend it giving me back rubs and reminding me to breathe.

I called and left a message for one of her cronies last night. Will wait exactly 3 days for a call back before I give up on their little enterprise and take my business somewhere else. The only question is: where?


Blogger April said...

Ugh. Sorry you're feeling that way and having frustration dealing with the doula issue.

Although, if she wasn't going to return your calls to let you know that she was booked within a reasonable time, it makes you wonder how responsive she would be during a holiday weekend when you really needed her.

Good luck finding a replacement. Let us know how it goes.

7:09 AM  
Blogger liz said...

What April said.

Find someone else. Check at the Food Coop and Back to the Land, they might know of people.

11:03 AM  
Blogger liz said...

Were you able to get your ring off? If so, how'd you do it?

11:09 AM  
Blogger Indigo Wolf said...

What a bummer! I hope you find a doula you feel really comfortable with.

10:11 AM  
Blogger spiller said...

She obviously has some serious issues with commitment - don't take it personally.

You'll find a better one soon, I hope!

6:48 PM  
Blogger Rebekah said...

Hey there! I'm on the Metropolitan Doula Yahoo Group, and would be very happy to leave a message for you there, if you're still looking for a Doula. This is a group of the most amazing, EXPERIENCED doulas I've ever heard of. I can ask them to e-mail me for your contact information and then send those who are interested on over to you. Let me know what you think ...

5:36 AM  
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