Sunday, February 27, 2005

still life with otis

If I had known that having a puppy around would be such a stress reducer, I'm sure I would have caved in and gotten one sooner. Life with Otis this past week has been amazingly relaxed- this, despite the fact that I started my Lupron injections last Sunday night and leave in just 4 days for New York where my reproductive future awaits.

Otis keeps me laughing, keeps me busy, gets me outside to the park. I sleep better at night having played with him all afternoon and evenings and don't even mind waking up at 5:30 each morning to take him outside to do his business. I've lost a couple of pounds from all of our walks. I haven't even noticed the lack of alcohol or caffeine or nicotine in my diet. I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm collected. And I really feel like Otis is the one who gets all of the credit.

I was a bit worried at first that the timing was all wrong. That bringing a 3 month old puppy into the house a couple of weeks before starting IVF might have been a mistake. But I am certain that if he were not here I would find myself obsessing over my Lupron headaches and the bruises on my stomach from the injections. I would be crazy upset about the fact that our #2 choice for sperm donor has run out of vials and our #1 choice only has a limited number of vials left and yet we still haven't gotten our act together to place our order. I can imagine the sleepless nights, tossing and turning while wondering exactly what the chances are that this cycle will be the one for us, wondering how I'll handle the disappointment if it's not. I would be stressed about the recent e-mail I got from a friend (finally!) after 3 months of nothing- still assuming that I was planning on staying with her in March while I'm in New York and my blunt and honest response to her explaining that I was hurt that she hadn't written sooner, that I had made other arrangements for my trip and that to be honest, I'm not sure how up for seeing people I will be and need to play the social engagement thing by ear.

But I am not worried about any of these things. I have quickly learned from my funny faced puppy how to just be. To eat and sleep and walk and play and let everything else go because it is out of my control. What is going to happen will happen and I will manage to get through it for better or for worse.

He's sleeping in my lap as I type. Doesn't even realize the profound effect he's had on my life. He's pretty amazing, this one. Who would have thought a dog could make me a better person?


Blogger Galloping Cats said...

So glad Otis is bringing you joy and peace. When can we see a picture?

1:00 PM  
Blogger Lala said...

Hear ye hear ye! I tried to get another one from the pound to up my lovin' but somebody got to her before me. They are great for the blood pressure too.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I would be SO jealous of your pug-puppy ownership, if I weren't so glad for you that he's doing everything he should. I second the request for a picture, though!

Smush-faced dogs are really life's best companions, I've found.

9:52 AM  
Blogger spiller said...

I AM jealous. Madly so.And fantasizing about my own future puppy.
But I am so very glad that he's keeping you so happy.
And I hope preparations for the trip are going well!Keep smiling and keep shining...

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's wonderful that you have Otis to help take your mind off of things. Animals are so amazing in that way, aren't they? I'm sitting here waiting for my (very late!) HCG results, so believe ME, I wish I had a cute little puppy to help me calm down!


2:24 PM  
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