Wednesday, January 05, 2005

a date with destiny

The end is in sight. Or maybe I should say the beginning. My new nurse e-mailed me today with my protocol and I'm to start birth control pills on Day 2 of my next cycle. That's the end of this month. Then 7 days of Lupron injections at the end February and then I'll start stims when I get to New York for my mock transfer on March 4.

I'm really excited. While I realize that this could easily be one of many cycles in my future, the fact that I have concrete dates to look forward to is unbelievable. Until today the prospect of starting IVF was a foggy notion. And now, there's something to put on the calendar. The countdown has begun.

I'm feeling giddy and tingly. I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling like we're finally moving forward for real. The prescriptions are being sent. The days are going by. In a little more than 2 months I will be back in New York for the real deal. No more consultations. No more diagnostic tests.

At this point, I'm thinking more about the procedure than what it ultimately means. Of course I have high hopes for a successful cycle, but I'm well aware of all the things that can go wrong. So my excitement at this point is less about the idea that I could have a baby in my arms next December and more about getting this whole process started. Amazing how one little e-mail could completely change my mood. I was feeling frustrated and helpless and stagnant and now? Not so much.

Time has passed differently for me since the diagnosis. Instead of months, I think in cycles. I've been waiting for a date, for a real timeline since we first met with Dr. Hope way back in July. And now, with Guru, I have one or at least an approximation of one. It's scary and exciting all at once.

But if nothing else, I'm ready.


Blogger spiller said...

Congratulations!It sounds like the ball is rolling...

7:12 PM  

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