Friday, December 10, 2004

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

My husband and I got a Christmas tree this week. It's very tall and very full and takes up more than its share of the corner of the entry way. We decorated it right away with the meager assortment of decorations and lights that we own and soon ran out to buy more. The lights are on, the presents are wrapped, the Christmas cds are in rotation in the cd player and I've sent off all my Christmas cards. I think I can safely say that the halls are decked. No snow here of course, but nonetheless I've been hit by the holiday spirit. Hard.

I expected this holiday season to be a difficult one. You may remember that we turned down an invitation to spend Christmas with the in-laws (and our nieces) because I worried about my oh-so unpredictable emotional state and the thought of being around little kids (conceived with no problems whatsoever) scared me. Instead the in-laws are coming to us. After Christmas, after our trip to the beach (sun and sand and ocean- oh my!). They arrive on the 29th and will be here through New Year's.

But strangely, or should I write unpredictably, I'm excited about the season. Feeling happy and merry and all those things. This Sunday I'm even making a traditional Christmas dinner for my Indian friends (who don't celebrate) and I've completely turned into my mother in that the table is already set and the serving dishes all have post-it notes attached with the names of the various dishes that they will hold.

I think it helps that I'm optimistic and feeling pretty sure that by this time next year I'll either be mothering a newborn or pregnant. I know that it's not a 100% certainty, but for now it's something that I can hold on to. And by holding on to that hope I'm able to appreciate this "last" Christmas- spent alone with my husband in the same place we got engaged. I'm looking forward to the New Year and all that it will bring.

"And so, I'm sending out this simple wish. To kids from 4 to 92. And though its been said, many times, many ways. . .Merry Christmas to You."


Blogger spiller said...

Christmas is a beautiful thing, isn't it?Keep savoring!

7:44 PM  

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