Sunday, October 17, 2004

cut to the chase

The more I think about it, the more I wonder why Guru told my husband that he thinks we'll be able to start IVF in March.

I'd be more understanding if we hadn't already had most of our tests done, if we weren't up to speed on the procedures, if we didn't have scheduled appointments with Guru and the new RE in a couple of weeks, if we weren't so dead-set on having a baby and having one soon, if we hadn't researched all of our options again and again and again.

But six months away is just that, six months away. And the more I consider that timeline, the more it seems too long to wait.

I just heard the news (on one of the message boards that I frequent) that an "aquaintance" of mine just found out she was pregnant with twins. I'm thrilled for her, and her pregnancy gives me hope. She and her husband were dealing with severe male factor, they did IVF/ICSI. It worked the first time. But, if I remember correctly, she e-mailed me to tell me of her husband's diagnosis a month or so after I learned of my own infertility back in July. We may have already met with Hope by then. We were probably already thinking that September would be our month.

I hadn't realized that this woman was moving along so quickly. Didn't even know that she had started taking drugs, had had her egg retrieval, that they were able to find viable sperm in her husband's testicles.

Who are her doctors, I want to know, that diagnosed and treated them so quickly? That had such successful results the first time around? And why is Guru urging us to take the slow boat? Everyone is different, I know, but I can't help but envy this woman who got to do things the way we all wish we could- boom, boom, boom, pregnancy.

I'll have the chance to talk to Guru in a couple of weeks and I'm definitely going to ask him about his timeline for us. I imagine things get hectic around the holidays (doctors and nurses and technicians on vacation and all that) and perhaps his team is booked through the New Year and beyond. If it's a scheduling issue, that's one thing, but if it's something else, well I have no qualms about telling him that I was ready yesterday.

I do believe that he is the best doctor for us, so I will listen to what he has to say. I'm not planning on jumping ship (again) due to my own lack of patience. But if it can happen sooner, why not try it sooner? That's all I want to know.



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