Tuesday, August 10, 2004

the results are in

My bloodwork still won't be ready until tomorrow, but I picked up my husband's results this morning. And it didn't look good. Most of his hormone levels were in the normal range, but the FSH was elevated. It feels like I've read everything I could get my hands on (thank you google!) and the high FSH levels seem to indicate testicular failure.

I'm not sure exactly what the implications are for our treatment, but I'm imagining that the likelihood of finding sperm up in his testicles has decreased significantly. I'm no doctor, but the word "failure" just sends shivers up my spine. And while I thought that using donor sperm or adopting were viable options for us, now they just seem so, well, not what I want. At least not now. At this moment. But I suppose I'm still in shock.

Tonight we'll fax off the results to Dr. Hope with a carefully crafted letter letting him know that we want to know the reality of our situation even if that means breaking bad news over e-mail. And you know I'll be online all day tomorrow checking my messages. I won't know what else to do with myself.

I think though, that this new twist weighs in the favor of doing our treatment in the States. That's one less decision I'll have to make. Two steps forward, three steps back.


Blogger amanda said...

I'm so sorry. I know these were not the results you were hoping for. There's still stuff they can do even if it's NOA. Did you see that chart on the Cornell site where it shows sperm retrieval rate for the different types of NOA with TESE?

Hypospermatogenesis 79% (31/39)
Maturation Arrest 47% (9/19)
Sertoli Cell-only 24% (5/21)

On one of the boards I post on, there was a someone who's husband has Sertoli Cell-Only Syndrome and got pregnant through IVF w/ICSI.

I guess I should stop throwing stats and info at you. It's so hard to deal with all of that when you're still in shock. Please know that my thoughts are with you and your husband.

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, too, am sorry about your results. And though I'm no scientist either, I do know that you only need to find a few brave soldiers for ICSI.

I'll be thinking of you both.

Julia (Uncommon Misconception)

8:25 AM  
Blogger spiller said...

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hang in there- I'm sending good thoughts your way.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Monique said...

Sorry to hear about your news.

In this day of absolute fantastic options, I do you get what it is that you want.

Hang in there. :)

6:29 PM  
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