Monday, June 07, 2004

wait and see

My husband and I went to Acapulco for the weekend. The trip out of town had been planned before we got the bad news on Thursday, but it was definitely good to be out of the apartment, out of the city. We took the bus down on Friday afternoon and arrived late Friday evening.

It was cloudy and rainy almost the whole time we were there, so I didn't get the glowing tan I was hoping to show off at my 10 year college reunion next week. But we logged in a lot of hours in front of the TV. (We don't have television in our apartment in DF, so couch potato-ing it is always a treat for us) And we were able to forget about the baby problem for a few hours at a time.

We talked about it, of course. It's impossible not to. And yet, as much as I would like this to be our only topic of conversation until we've figured it all out, I know that's neither realistic nor healthy. The thing is, I'm a planner, a list maker. And I like to know what's coming next. In this case, nothing is in my control. We're in a wait-and-see mode. As in: wait and see what the results of the next semenalysis are, wait and see what the second opinion doctor says our options are, wait and see whether we will go forward with the various medical procedures here or in the US, wait and see if they work. I am not a wait and see person by nature, but I will become one.

For now though, I have to get back on the job search bandwagon and try my damnedest to find some sort of employment opportunity here in Mexico that is even marginally related to my degrees in public health and social work. Easier said than done, since I've been looking for almost a year. The prospect that there's nothing out there frightens me since I really need the distraction right now. Perhaps the job search in and of itself will serve as enough of a distraction to get me through the next couple of months. I'll just have to wait and see.


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